The $25 Sheet Mask That Delivers Serenity Now
They say you shouldn't shop for groceries when you're hungry. You might think the same applies to having a terrible week and visiting Sephora.
You'd be wrong.
While a sad-ass stop at the makeup store will yield you the occasional matte lavender lipstick (it will come in handy at Halloween -- relax) and a thankfully returnable foundation that looks like utter shit in direct sunlight, there will also be retail therapy sessions during which you find Tatcha's Luminous Deep Hydration Lifting sheet mask ($25) that's both effective and the perfect antidote to the lackluster skin that comes with stupid amounts of stress.
Speaking of stupid -- I know, I know. That's a stupid amount of money to spend on a cloth you put on your face for a matter of minutes and then throw away. Look. I'm on your side here. For crying out loud, this soon-to-be garbage costs $8 more than the SK-II masks everybody -- including Katie -- is obsessed with.
But, allow me a few counter points: This mask is luxe as fuck. It feels like a legit at-home spa experience. And unlike SK-II, Tatcha doesn't test on animals.
The results? Bright and deeply moisturized skin -- and majorly diminished under-eye bags.
What you'll notice when you unfold the mask's heavy paper sleeve, printed in a dark wood pattern with gold lettering, is that Tatcha did not come to play with you bitches. Seriously. Inside the folder-like cardstock is an introduction to your face mask that explains how "beauty is a culmination of the wisdom of centuries" and "science can only echo what nature illuminated long ago."
This is all very nice and confusing and about geishas somehow. If you dwell on it unnecessarily long, it's also a great way for your mind to wander toward the chasm of meaninglessness that brought you to Sephora in the first place. Do what you will.
But the mask! You'll remove it from the multi-layered packaging and think that it is entirely too thick and weird and texturally like a fishnet. You're right. See, the part where I suggested you might skip over the introductory text did not mention that there's yet more text and you should definitely read that part of the packaging.
Instead of putting the bizarro mask on your face, take two seconds to skim the directions. If you'd rather not, I'll paraphrase here: Peel off one layer of the mesh stuff and put the exposed side of the mask on your skin; then peel off the second mesh layer and go drink some wine or tea or whatever it is you drink.
Once you put on the mask and definitely did not leave the mesh on because you don't think you should have do read directions for this sort of thing, you'll be able to mold the (still impressively hefty) sheet to the contours of your face.
Somehow distilled from an entire coconut and mixed with hyaluronic acid, Okinawan red algae, and green tea, the mask has a mellow, delicate scent: fresh, delicate, and calming.
The packaging recommends that you leave the mask on for just 15 minutes. Live dangerously and emotionally availably by watching half an episode of Freaks and Geeks. What's the worst that could happen? The mask has more time to absorb into your face? You relate too much to Kim Kelly and decide to reexamine your life choices? Perfect. It's working!!
Pause the show, peel it off, and the cloth has morphed into a gelatinous sheet you can squeeze a little more of that coconut-algae-rice serum out of. (Put that stuff on your neck.)
Things look pretty good, right?
